It’s ok to want to be alone

It may seem like an obvious thing to say, but I think a lot of introverts often feel like there’s something wrong with them because they prefer to be alone. The image of a happy person we’re so often presented with is one who has a lot of friends and goes out all the time. People who like to stay home on the other hand are presented as sad loners, usually pale. The only reason they don’t go out with friends is because they have none. They have no social skills or maybe they have some kind of mental problem. Extroverts who like to be out among people are living life while introverts stay home playing video games and wasting theirs.

This image is, of course, wrong. First of all, let’s correct the idea that a person’s happiness can be measured by how many friends they have. There are, of course, many people who enjoy having a lot of friends. At the same time, however, some people are happy with just a few close ones.

The problem is that we live in a very extroverted culture. People who enjoy spending a lot of time around people see the time they have to spend alone as something like an ordeal they have to endure. They can’t imagine that someone would choose to be alone. Therefore, the only explanation they can come up with for why someone spends a lot of time alone is because there’s something wrong with them. Those who do prefer to spend time alone then believe that there is something wrong with them because a “normal” person likes to be around people.

If you prefer to stay home alone, the first thing you should understand is that there’s nothing wrong with that. That’s just who you are. Secondly, you should recognize that this is your power. If you’re not alone, when else are you ever going to get anything done? This, of course, depends on what kind of work you do, but even if you’re not a student or blogger or something like that, there are always times in most peoples’ lives when they have to do some solitary activity.

But, even if you’re not doing work when you’re alone, that doesn’t mean you’re wasting your life. If you just want to play video games or watch a movie, there’s no reason to feel bad about that, introverts simply need their time alone to recharge. It’s like basic maintenance so that you’re in good condition to do whatever it is you do.

That said, it is possible to waste your life doing things like watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the internet. Personally, I can become somehow hypnotized by my computer screen when I browse the internet. I usually force myself to pull away when I find that I’ve spent over an hour just reading comments (but I still want to read all of yours!). There’s a difference, though, between resting or recharging and wasting time. If you truly are wasting time, then it’s important to be able to recognize that and start living. But even then, that doesn’t mean you need to be among people to do so.

So just remember that it’s ok to want to be alone. The key is to make sure that you are putting your time alone to good use.

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4 thoughts on “It’s ok to want to be alone

  1. Pingback: Misunderstood Introverts | The Cognitive Life

  2. Pingback: Introversion is From This World and Not Wrong | Angela Suzanne's Site

  3. Pingback: Misunderstood Introverts | Words Like Silk

  4. Pingback: Permission to be an introvert | Juni Desireé

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